Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
just tell him i said nine months
I could make wine with my vomit
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
