I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
