Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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