i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
