I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
