Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
