My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
