Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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