girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
