I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
