I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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