Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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