You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
