Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
