STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Randomize
