my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
