Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
She tied me up with her honor cords...
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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