it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
