I'm jealous of your bromance
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
