Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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