Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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