Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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