Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
