i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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