We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I just found puke in my bra..
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
