It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
