Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Randomize
