So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
