I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
