I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
she told me i tasted like america
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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