More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I wanna passion pit in your ass
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
tell me about the fingering
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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