I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
It's just like the Real World with babies
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
