Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
jump out the window naked night went bad
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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