i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
