he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
this must be what syphilis tastes like
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
We left the knife in your bed.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
