Don't you send me to vm
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
