wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
