I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize