the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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