Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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