He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
