somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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