Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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