The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
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