Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
