You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i can't believe i had my finger in that
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
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