Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
