it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize