I'm lost and stupid without you.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
