the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
