these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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