Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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