Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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