3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize