break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
