You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
