do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Damn victory sex feels great
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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