you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Randomize
