there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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