did you get engaged???
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
