Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
