my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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