What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
