So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I smell like Dick and happiness
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
