You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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