but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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