What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
